you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
