Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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