Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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