is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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