What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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