you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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