I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize