So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Alive.
So much puke
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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