is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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