Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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