If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
