And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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