My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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