When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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