You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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