So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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