Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
