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I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
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