remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
