guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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