He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
