ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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