school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
