Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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