So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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