I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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