I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
