im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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