I'm eating all of the evidence.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
