I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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