it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
