Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize