Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
