And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
