This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
