And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
