Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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