I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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