i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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