fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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