i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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