I love black thongs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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