Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
