You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
