for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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