The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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