That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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