My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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