how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.