There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me