I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly