I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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