Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
