Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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